to the one that got away (to the one i never really knew)Posted: May 28, 2010
You are a person that I regret not knowing. Simple as that.
You are a person that I regret not being able to sit down with and share a meal. I’ve been told that it’s the best way to really start getting to know someone; you sit down, on a bench, on the grass, or across from each other, separated by candles and tablecloth, and share some food with each other. Some of my greatest friends, I’ve gotten to know while eating with them at some designated hour. We’d talk about the banalities and eventually the complexities of life, taking the conversation on a journey through the psyches of two developing brains. There’s nothing I would have liked more than to share a conversation with you over a meal, wherein I’d finally get to suss out those aspects of you that I found so intriguing.
You are a person that I regret not saying more than hello to. A knot in my chest forms every time you shoot me a smile when our eyes meet, only for me to respond with a simple greeting. A wave. A mumbled word. We’d walk away, and think nothing more of it. Or at least, on your part. To think I had so many chances to foster a budding friendship. To think I could have seized those opportunities to go out of my way, to strike up a sentence or two. If there’s such thing as fate, it stopped at bringing you into my life. It stopped at the first time your eyes met mine, and let me fumble through the rest of it.
You are a person that I regret not making an effort for. The timing, dear lord, the timing. I’m not sure whether or not it’s the circumstances surrounding how the two of us met, but damn if it wasn’t quite right. It could have been my fault. It probably was my fault. There are so many things in life that are only available to you, that will only come to you if you actually try. And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t try. Because there could have been something special, I think. It’s either that, or my misguided perceptions. You are a person who probably doesn’t think much of me. Damn if I didn’t have so many regrets, but I can’t help it sometimes. But by far, one of my biggest regrets is not being a page rather than a sentence in the book of your life.
You are a person that I regret falling in love with so easily.
Simple as that.