500 word attempt at the whole “self-deprecation” thingPosted: February 8, 2009
I can’t seem to write when I’m obligated to write. An odd thought, yes. Bear with me.
Take this, for instance. It’s 9:16 at night, and I’ve been sitting at this computer for two hours, trying to write a 500 word essay on a topic so ambiguous that I just outright abhor it; for two hours I’ve been sitting here writing an essay that I don’t want to write. Two and a half hours, and I’ve only written a single paragraph consisting of 259 words (since the last check). I’ve spent the past few minutes wandering around the internet for no good reason at all, which is one of the reasons for my declining self-control in these matters, since, of course, I’ve realized that I’ve been spending way too much time here. If I could turn off the connection, I would, but then how else would I know of some ridiculous event occuring five hundred and forty two thousand miles away from me?
There’s a paper in front of me, and it reads, “Change is inevitable. How will it impact you? More importantly, how will you impact change?”
I’m obligated to write something along those lines, because I’m obligated to attend a building most people call a school, because I’m obligated to spend at least eighteen years of my life devoted to a scholastic career, because I’m obligated to an education. It’s only been six minutes since I started writing this, and I’ve already almost caught up to the amount of words I’ve written in the Microsoft Word window that sits on my taskbar next to this open Mozilla Firefox window with WordPress open, and a Winamp window that is pumping my third favorite Postal Service song through my laptop’s one-inch speakers scattered near its screen.
This could be considered a brainstorming session, as crazy as this may sounds. After all, I’m obligated to write something about change. Change is inevitable, Captain or Baroness Obvious, (depending on the prompt writer’s gender) It would impact me because change occurs around me all of the time, and is incited by a shitload of tiny little factors; an atom whizzing by a picture of people I hold dear could incite a change, for that atom whizzing by could trigger something in that ridiculous blob of flesh I keep in my cranium that would cause me to look at the picture and realize how much I miss some of them, and ergo cause a change in my train of thought. Is that what you want to hear, critiquer? Do you want to hear a rehashed idea that I rehashed from a entry I wrote a while back? Do you want the same idea that possibly countless others already had before me, and would probably put it in a better way?
If I’m obligated to write, I can’t write worth a damn. If I decide to write, I write out my complaints in bad prose (which is obviously why this blog was started in the first place). Either way, I’m shit.