When there is nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire.Posted: August 4, 2008
Everytime I fall asleep, I have a nightmare. Which sucks, since I already suffer from insomnia. It didn’t used to be like this. I used go to bed around 11 and wake around 10. And I’d have to struggle to stay up late. Now, I have to struggle to fall asleep. I lay in bed, wrapped up in comforters, sweating through sheets, staring at the ceiling, forming pictures in it’s textured surface. I do this, for hours on end. Until finally, my eyes sink shut. And I’m allowed a few blissful moments of rest. But those moments have recently been interrupted. By dreams of unimaginable horror. Death, gore, violence, rape, murder; incidents befalling my friends and family. Sometimes myself. And if it’s not horrible. Then I’ll have some dream in which I’m placed in an incredibly awkward situation that leaves me unsettled for the rest of the day. As a result, I don’t sleep much anymore.
I’m starting to think this is my mind’s way of telling me I have unresolved issues that need to be taken care of.
It’s 5 in the morning.
And I can’t sleep.