Prose, poetry, fiction, and rambles from people with a bit too much time on their hands.

When there is nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire.

Everytime I fall asleep, I have a nightmare. Which sucks, since I already suffer from insomnia. It didn’t used to be like this. I used go to bed around 11 and wake around 10. And I’d have to struggle to stay up late. Now, I have to struggle to fall asleep. I lay in bed, wrapped up in comforters, sweating through sheets, staring at the ceiling, forming pictures in it’s textured surface. I do this, for hours on end. Until finally, my eyes sink shut. And I’m allowed a few blissful moments of rest. But those moments have recently been interrupted. By dreams of unimaginable horror. Death, gore, violence, rape, murder; incidents befalling my friends and family. Sometimes myself. And if it’s not horrible. Then I’ll have some dream in which I’m placed in an incredibly awkward situation that leaves me unsettled for the rest of the day. As a result, I don’t sleep much anymore.

I’m starting to think this is my mind’s way of telling me I have unresolved issues that need to be taken care of.

It’s 5 in the morning.

And I can’t sleep.


4 Comments on “When there is nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire.”

  1. taylor says:

    all plans are golden in your hands.

  2. Bel says:

    Taylor can be so random… I miss her.

    Yes, Jolly, maybe you do have issues you left unnatended. Or maybe, just maybe, all you need is a nice rest — your mind is so filled up with thoughts it makes it hard for you to actually dream…
    You never know!

  3. Ananta says:

    It seems to me that your insomnia is actually causing those nightmares. I remember my most trippy and nightmare-ish dreams/hallucinations occur after I go for a day or so with very little sleep, or, in fact, no sleep at all.

    Either that or yeah, there’s some certain problem that your subconscious is obviously pissed at and that needs to be resolved. You just need to find it.

  4. […] evidenced by this post that was written a while back that has very little to do with the line in the first place. So, if […]

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