Prose, poetry, fiction, and rambles from people with a bit too much time on their hands.

Anger Management

The bike hinges made a periodic squeak, and it was really pissing him off. His legs ached and were strained to their limit, but that didn’t stop him from kicking the mountain bike down the slope as he cursed. He was almost to the top anyway. He sat down in the shade of the pine trees, the needles beneath him making a slight crunching noise as his bottom met the earth. Sweat oozed out of the open pores a top his balding head. He took off his backpack and rumaged through it. Not a crumb of sustainence left. He had a gameboy though, so he pulled it out and turned it on, his rage rising slightly becasue of the loading time. The gameboy ended up flying over the cliff after the bike, because he spent an hour trying to climb a “dumb” tower and when he got to the top he had one life and was killed by “the little boomerang faggit.” He stood up and marched on, fueled only by anger. He found some berries. They were poisonous. He spent a good amount of time throwing up, becasue when he looked up from the hissing puddle of stomach acid the sun was pretty close to setting. He kept going up, dialing his cell phone as he went.

“I fucking hate you…No I’m not any calmer…Can’t you send a helicopter? I want off this damn mountain…You gotta be shittin’ me…When I get out of this I’m gonna—hello? Oh hell no.”

He redialed. Nobody answered. Soon his cell phone was resting at the bottom of a cliff with his bike and his gameboy. He hiked on, only becasue he had nothing else to do. He made it to the top, and looked at the valley below. A river lazily swerved though the valley, reflecting the hues of the of the sunset. The far off storm clouds were painted in vibrant pinks, purples, and every shade from yellow to red. The trees below faced the orange scene, their enormous shadows cast backwards as if they were sitting in a theater, watching bright images flicker past on a great canvas. The man’s reaction to this magnificant scene, this wonderous display of nature’s ability to appear beautiful to the human eye, was “Holy shit, how am I gonna get off this mountain?” Moments later the sun was gone, and thunder clapped in the distance.

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3 Comments on “Anger Management”

  1. Ananta says:

    HOLY SPELLING ERRORS, BATMAN! Otherwise, it was rather interesting.

  2. 0ut0fc0ntext says:

    gosh, if it really annoys you, you can just be my spelling janitor and clean up all my errors.

  3. Ego says:

    Oooh! And I can be the punctuation custodian!

    Or maybe the capitalization technician!

    No no! The SYNTAX-INATOR!

    BTW, I liked it. very nice vocabulary


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