Frankie went to Hollywood. What about me?Posted: April 7, 2008
Let’s get talked about, dear people of the world!
Many singers in the past year or months have become known because of a cool MySpace account loaded with songs of their own. Kate Nash, Colbie Caillat, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse… Hey, maybe we should all do that: let’s get together and make up songs about lazy brothers, drinking problems and how much you wanna kiss a boy, get somebody to put some chords together and boom – we’ll have songs ready to be uploaded to MySpace and we’re gonna be this close to stardom!
If that doesn’t work out, there’s always the party-animal option: let’s become Paris Hilton’s BFF and rock out every party in California! Oh wait, that means having to walk around without underwear, having to shave our heads and look like a crazy wacko that hits papparazzi with green umbrellas. So discard that if you wish.
Or maybe we could just call MTV and start a new reality show! You know, all you need is flirty, rich teens that like to feud now and then, look clueless and party on weekends, which is not so hard to find. After that, we make a spin-off show with one of those teens, which will become polemic because of some crazy ex-BFF that wants to steal the limelight by making up lame songs and creating a clothing line that sells for under $60. Yeah, that’ll do the trick!
Well… let’s say the above options still haven’t satisfied you. Then you can just become a tree-hugging hippie that supports PETA and goes chasing Anna Wintour with tofu pies after fashion shows, or a bohemian chic trend follower that dresses like Mary Kate Olsen – not forgetting the Marlboro cigarrettes and the Starbucks venti-sized latte on one hand and a very expensive clutch on the other – or a former personal assistant of a “boss from hell” that wrote a book and made it a big hit. Now that ought to get you on page six of every newspaper, riiiight?
Let’s all forget about going to college and getting stressful jobs in the future. No more studying or worrying about our GPAs or the upcoming science fair! The real deal now is to have stars revolving around your name, papparazzi chasing your car and having to see your own face splashed across some gossipy magazine cover. Come on, let’s go to Hollywood and become famous!!!